BIRDMEN!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!!

A new subspecies of human was recently discovered in the hills of Washington State. The public has unofficially named them ‘the birdmen of Washington’ because of the giant wings sprouting from their backs. It is still unknown if these wings are actually functional, or have some other purpose. Some scientists have suggested that they may be only for show and used in finding a mate. The bodies of these birdmen are somewhat shorter and stockier than an average human’s body. It seems that they use some sort of primitive, guttural sounding language. So far there is no concern for the safety of those living near the colonies of this new species. They have not shown any aggressive tendencies or attacked anyone as far as we know. Many people are hoping to get close to the culture of the birdmen, and try to integrate them into modern society. An opposing voice has also sounded, stating that the mixing of species in society simply will not work. “These birdmen could disrupt the whole social order,” stated one anti-integration supporter. “Imagine if we let them mix into the workplace. I know my job would become jeopardized. As a professional sky scraper window cleaner, I could not compete with someone who could fly.” Only time will tell how these newly discovered ‘people’ will be accepted into the world.